Monday, July 19, 2010

The Wedding Invitation

Got a call from the BF. We just received a wedding invitation. “There’s a note attached…” he stammers. This is not the first to have ‘a note.’

“Read it.”

“Robert, I hope you and [The Boyfriend] can make it. You MUST promise that you are NOT going to try to sleep with any of the wedding party at the wedding this time. Including me, [the groom] and my brother. I’m serious! If you can’t make the promise, you can’t come. Love, Claire”.

“Is she for real?” Unfortunately, yes. I immediately text Claire:

Me: Got the invite. Got your msg. Thanks.
Claire: Holding you to it.
Me: K. How cute is the priest?
Claire: Srsly?
Me: ;-)
Claire: Just of Peace. 60’s.
Me: Oh. Then no promise on your bro.
Claire: Ass! He just got out of a bad one.

[15 minutes later]
Me: Too?
Claire: You know what I mean.
Me: please…
Claire: Srsly. I want this to work. Dont jinx it!
Me: I believe YOU were the one who sucked MY dick [her first wedding]
Claire: I was drunk
Me: Not that drunk.
Claire: You had your dick out
Me: I was taking a piss!
Claire: And you made a compelling point.
Me: All I said was ‘you’re never going to suck any other dick beside Ed’s for the next 50 years.’
Claire: Exactly.
Me: Can I come to the bachelorette party?
Claire: NO! You fucked my maid of honor!
Me: And you.
Claire: Fuck you.
Me: That’s what she said.
Claire: Ass.
Me: Been there, too.
Me: Can I come to the bachelor party?
Claire: Jerk.
Claire: Even worse idea.

[30 minutes later]
Claire: Srsly. I don’t want any drama at this wedding.
Me: Okay. Out of curiosity, who’s in the wedding party?
Claire: No.
Me: Just seeing if I’ve had sex with them before.
Claire: You have. Trust.
Me: If I’ve had them before, I won’t want them again.
Claire: Sha!
Me: True…

[Hour later]
Me: So I can fuck [groom] before the wedding date, right?
Claire: You ruined enough of my marriages
Me: Only two.
Claire: Only been married twice
Me: Srsly?
Claire: Didn’t count. Family secret!
Me: Tramp ;-)
Claire: HUSH!
Me: [BF] will keep me in line. K?
Claire: Thanks!

[Five minutes later]
Me: So, you’re sure [groom]’s the one, right? Sex is THE BEST EVER?
Claire: Fucker!
Me: I got your back…
Claire: Thers than just sex.
Me: But if the sex sucks…
Claire: Got a meeting
Me: K. Love you. I’ll be good.
Claire: liar!

[45 minutes later and more than enough time to think about what I’ve said.]
Claire: Hey, want to get drinks tonight?

I know where this is going and it doesn’t look good for marriage number four.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Memories of Summer

Sweltering summer afternoon. Slumped in a chair. Staring at my dick. I’m sweaty. It glistens. It’s tacky. I still haven’t blown my load. It’s my older brother’s turn. He’s trying. I’ve just brought another girl to orgasm. It was her first. My brother is trying to get Sarah to cum again. Erik’s fucked Sarah before. Never got that result. I think he’s jealous Not sure how many times he’s fucked our sister, but I'm the one who got her off.

Physically mature enough to fuck; old enough to know better. Horny enough not to care. I still don’t have driver’s license, but I can fuck like a champ.

I stare at Erik’s ass. He’s got a lot of zits on his back and butt. Her hands run up and down his frame. He keeps thrusting. She’s enjoying it. Sarah keeps glancing back at me. That smile. It kills. She will destroy men with that smile.

Usually at The Ranch this time of year. It’s even hotter there. But there is AC in the main house. Swamp coolers in the barracks. Even the barn gets a decent cross breeze. Home just swelters. No breeze. The heat weighs on us. Yet we can still fuck.

Sweltering heat makes you move slow. My bro and I wandered about in just our underwear most of the day. That’s how it started. Sarah had all the fans in her room. Lying on her bed. Bra and panties. An athlete like the rest of us. Firm body. Nice tits. Prettier than most girls. Sarah gives us that sweet smile as we walk in. Did she plan this?

Erik has filled out a lot since Christmas. Taller. Broader. Soccer has made his thighs thick. His ass firm and round. Bulging muscles whenever he walks. Big chest. Bigger shoulders. Like all the men in my family. I’m not yet a man. I feel like one today.

I smirk as my brother grunts into my sister. I made Sarah cum. I guess Erik never got a how-to lesson.

Lessons for Junior High
Late Saturday night in early fall. Parents are still out. Everyone is in bed. Almost everyone.

James, oldest bro is downstairs with his girlfriend. I wander down. They’re on his bed. Her blouse is open. I see her bra. Her panties are off. I see her bush. James is shirtless in jeans. He’s finger fucking her. She groans. Opens her eyes and sees me. She nudges my brother. He smiles. They’re stoned.

He asks me if I want to touch it. I shake my head. James tells me not to be nervous. Brings me forward. He keeps fingering her. Two fingers are in her pussy. His thumb is gently rubbing her clit. His talk and his fingering are slow and deliberate. I want to leave. I can’t. I want to touch it. I’m so hard it hurts. I think it’s going to rip through my cutoffs.

I try. Not sure what I’m doing or why. James guides me. Tells me what to do. She’s laying back, smiling. I play with it. Soft. Silky. Wet. I enjoy watching how she squirms with my fingers. It’s lovely.

James leans down and licks her pussy. I curl my lips. Gross. She whispers it’s great. James nods. If James likes it, I like it. I think of Willy Wonka when everyone is licking the wallpaper. He and I lick. I keep clumsily fingering her.

I start to grab her boob. James stops me. “Don’t grab. Work around.” His theory: if you grab it, she’ll push you away. If you play around it, she yank your hand to it. I can’t touch her boob, but I can finger her cunt? Okay…

I learn a lot that night about pleasing a woman. I’m not good, but I get the mechanics. James has me leave when he’s gonna fuck her. The door’s open. I sneak a peek and watch them screw. He cums quicker than I thought he would.

Two months later, I’m at my first real boy/girl party. Marci likes me. She’s told everyone. (She told Erica, who told Karyn, who told everyone. The guys tease me about making out with her. We end up in the master bedroom. We talk. Marci is pretty. Dark, curly hair. Glasses. Just got her braces off. Real bra; no trainer. At that age, she was as hot as Susanne Sommers.

We kiss. I ‘work around.’ Hand near boob. Hand on thigh. On inner thigh. On waist. Back to inner thigh. My hand moves up her skirt...

I can feel the heat. I let my hand brush against Marci’s panties. She jumps. I pull away. I apologize. She tells me it’s okay.

Marci stands up. She smiles. Reaches under her skirt…

My jaw hits the floor as she takes off her panties and sits back down… on my lap. I don’t work around. Inner thigh. My fingers ease in. She coos. She’s so wet. Reach around touching her bra. Bra comes off.

I’m dumfounded. I’m not sure what I should do. I want to dive right into a nipple. I move forward… and then I work around. It’s not long before I’m licking her nipple. She gets chills. My fingers are deep in wet fur. “Thank you, James” keeps running through my head.

Only after, do I realize she makes no attempt for my dick. However, I’m very aware that it is straining against my pants. I’d probably nut if she reached for it.

I lean her back on the bed. I attack with gusto. She squeals. She giggles. She moans. And then she MOANS. It’s low. Dark. Loud. I continue flicking my tongue and teasing with my fingers. Seeing what will happen if I do this. Or this. Or… this. She begins to groan higher and increasingly louder. Now I really get it: the mental and the mechanics. She’s squeezing my legs between her thighs. My ears are blocked with her thighs. I hear two things: my pounding heart and her screams. I keep at it.

This. Is. Awesome.

I think she may orgasm… how do girls orgasm? I know what guys do, but what happens when a girl cums? I don’t stop. I want to find out what happens.

Marci’s body shakes violently. Her legs kick. Slamming into my back. I will have nasty bruises for over a week. I start to pull up but the force of her legs keeps pushing me back down. From 30 years later, I imagine it much more comical. At that moment it was beyond intense. When her movements slow I pull back and fall on the floor.

We stare at each other: Shock. Guilt. Smiles.

I stand. She points at my hardon. I try and cover it. She laughs. Fucking bitch.

There’s a knock at the door. I don’t hear the party. Shit. Has everyone gone home? Did we scare people? What if it’s the cops? Fuck… what if it’s my dad?

She quickly dresses. Hand covering the boner, I slowly open the door. Everyone from the party is crammed into the hall. EVERY ONE of my friends in the world is in that hallway. “Is Marci okay?” I just stare. My mouth glistens with her juices.

Minutes later, the girls are all upstairs with Marci. I’m with the guys in the living room. They want details. It’s weird saying I ate her pussy. So I just say we made out. It doesn't matter what I say. My rep is sealed: I fucked her. I fucked her good. She’s labeled a slut. I’m labeled a stud. She has to change schools by the next year. Girls seek me out to take their virginity. I take them. I like it. Guys want to be around me. I like that more.

One thing in my favor is that I’m young and horny all the time. It really doesn’t matter who I’m fucking. Just that I’m fucking. It’s not until I get a steady “girlfriend” that I’m left somewhat alone.

In the heat of itI’d grown a few inches since that fall evening to that sweltering afternoon. I’m tall and gangly. Football and Baseball are not yet adding weight to my frame. My sister is the latest in a long line of girls I’ve made cum. However, she is the first I’ve made cum by fucking.

The three of us have been talking for about an hour. Clumsy innuendos. Clumsier double entendres. She lay on the bed sweating with all three fans blowing on her. I stand in the door looking at her tits. She smiles her killer smile, “Wanna fuck me?” She’s joking. I know it. My brother, sitting on the end of the bed massaging her feet knows it. My dick doesn’t. I go instantly hard.

I try to cover. It’s not use. Embarrassed, I want to leave. Sarah tells me to stay. Her legs spread. I can see her lips through the thin fabric. She smiles. “So Karyn said you’re really good…”

She loves how I play with it. My fingers. My tongue. She squeals and giggles. Twice she kicks me away, her foot slamming onto my shoulder and I’m on the floor. I get up after the second time. Sarah leans forward. Stops me before I kneel down again and pulls off my underwear. She sucks it a bit. She’s not that good.

But it’s a mouth…

A few minutes later, I’m entering her. She’s not quite all the way on the bed. I don’t have a good standing position over her. Not confident enough to tell her to move. She might stop me altogether.

As I slide in. I think, “This feels so good and SO right.

The end result is that I’m pushing up as I thrust. Each thrust rubs my bush against her clit. Each thrust causes her to whimper. After about ten minutes she’s screaming. I’m not sure how long I’m supposed to fuck. I’ve never had someone watching. I keep checking the clock, like an alarm will go off and tell me to stop. I look at Erik. I can’t figure out what he’s thinking: blank expression. I keep her on the edge long enough for her to scrape the shit out of my back with her nails. She tenses up. Her orgasm isn’t nearly as loud as I would have thought. She twitches and gurgles.

I pull out. I’m still hard. I haven’t cum yet. I’m thrown by her orgasm. Never happened while fucking. I’m disoriented. I flop into the chair. My brother gracelessly moves on top of Sarah. She pushes him off. He lays next to her. He brushes her tears away. I’m worried I hurt her.

We sit in silence for a while. Breathing. Sweating. My cock pulses as it rests on my thigh. Still hard; but not rigid.

Erik kisses Sarah’s leg. Moves to her pussy. He doesn’t lick it. Kisses around it. Up to her neck. She pulls him on top of her. Erik looks to me and says something about showing me how it’s done… Erik oafishly fucks her for a while.

I move to the bed. Sarah grabs my still hard dick. My brother is dripping sweat all over her. I rub his back. She tugs on my dick. My brother leans forward. I think he’s going to suck it. It’s too much. I jizz on my sister’s face. She lets go almost instantly. I keep cumming. Erik nuts inside her.

Jizz is on her face. In her hair. I smile. She yells at us: “Give a girl some warning.” As quick as it started, it’s over.

Late that night I can’t sleep. Too hot. Sheets off. One of the fans we stole from Sarah lazily swaying back and forth. Hardly much of a breeze. Erik groans in frustration. Heats too much for him as well. He tells me his dick still smells of Sarah’s juices. I laugh. I lick my finger and move it to my dick. Back up to my nose. Yep. I smell her, too.

Erik asks if I want to suck her off his dick. Of course.

I can barely see on this moonless night. I go to the side of his bed. I kneel as I often do before I blow him. I pull his already hard dick into my mouth. He stops me. “I’ll suck her off of you, too.”

A day of firsts: my first 69.

It’s rare for Erik to blow me. I can’t think of but a handful of times he’s sucked it. I don’t want to cum quickly. He starts rubbing my crack. I nut. I try not to collapse on him and choke him. My body is trembling.

I choke a little on his dick. He cums almost immediately.

We talk about the day. Fucking our sister. Is that wrong? It felt good. We know we’re not supposed to… but it feels fantastic. We bond in that moment. But I will ruin it…

In 3, 2, 1…

I make a crack about him not getting her off. As with most of our disagreements, it involves wrestling. One of us attacking the other and rolling around on the ground, trying to kill the other.

It doesn’t take too long for our parents to come storming in. They yell at us in that parental back-and-forth of asking questions, yet not waiting for an answer. We are frozen with fear and confusion. Parental shadows loom over us:

“Do you know what time it is?”

“Where are your pants?”

“Get off your brother!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Honestly, you boys need to stop this constant fighting!”

“Where are your pants?”

“You are both old enough to know better!”

“I said, ‘get off your brother!’”


“Get to bed.”

“If I hear another peep out of you two, I swear to goodness…!”

The door slams. Their voices drifting as they walk down the hall.

“Where the hell are their pants?”
“Damn kids. We’ll see how much fighting they’ll have energy for after a day putting in fences on the ranch…”

We stay frozen for a moment. Me twisted into a ball. Eric on top of me. Our hands clenched in the other’s, pushing back and forth.We are united in that moment against our common enemy: Our parents. We laugh. We laugh hard.

Dad’s voice cries out from down the hall, “I swear to all that is holy, I will kick your godamned asses if you don’t shut the hell up right now!” We attempt to muffle them. This makes us laugh harder. We giggle. Our bodies shake together.

The heat. The wrestling. The hot embarrassment of being caught naked with my older brother. We are slick with sweat. We don’t let go. My backside on the carpet. I lean back. I pull my brother. Erik moves forward. His cock presses against my crack. We’re both hard.

I’m not sure how many times he’s fucked me by this time. Half a dozen? Mostly it’s been me blowing him. Sometimes he’d crawl into my bed. It always hurt. I never wanted it.

Today, I did.

“Vaseline,” I murmur. There’s a jar in our nightstand. He snuck it from my parent’s bathroom. It’s almost empty now. He lets go of my hand. I hear the soft scrape as the drawer is open. The metal lid pops off. His finger probes my ass a bit. It hurts. It feels good.

I hear the soft sounds as he works the thick jelly onto his dick. He massages it. It’ll be warm. Smooth.

I start to turn into the doggie position. He tells me to stay. I didn’t know guys could fuck in other positions. We’d always done it doggie style.

He moves to mount me. Dick against my hole. It feels natural. He pushes in. Oh my. This, this is right and good. I let out a groan/sigh. He works deep into me. He asks if I’m okay. I nod. He asks again. I nod. He leans in. Whispers in my ear. “You okay…?” I pull him closer. “Yeah.” It comes out as a whisper.

As my brother begins to slowly thrust, the usual pain and discomfort are hardly there. I try and stay quiet. It’s difficult. It feels so good. My hands run up and down his back like my sister’s earlier. Is this what it’s like to be a girl?

Nuzzling my neck. His body is both hot and cold at the same time. He asks again if it feels good. I whimper. His fucking is far less stilted than it was this afternoon with her. Slow rhythm. Purposeful. Strong.

He’s close. I pull him closer. My legs wrap around him. He starts to fuck a little harder. It feels fantastic. I tell him to fuck me faster… and harder. He obliges.

He cums deep in me. Both of us stifle our whimpers. He pumps until he’s spent. He shakes as he lays there. We lay there in silence. I feel his sweat dripping down on me. I make no attempt to move.

Erik pulls off. I let out a tremendous fart. I lay there. Shaking. Trying not to laugh out loud. Dick and fart jokes will continue to make us laugh.

The floor feels cooler than my bed. I lay there. He makes no attempt to get me off. After a bit, he collapses onto his bed. I jack off to the sound of his soft snore.

I fall asleep on the floor. The rug feels cool. It’s going to be even hotter tomorrow.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Today's Lesson

Meeting on campus with a buddy who’s a prof. I love college campuses. Guys are hot. Most don’t know it. Spring is awesome because it’s shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops. Naked in seconds. I’ve met with my buddy eight times recently. I’m averaging a fuck every other time.

I didn’t get any last time.

Just finished the meeting. Tall guy walks by. Does a double-take. I smile. He blushes. Stands there looking goofy. He’s handsome. He starts to speak. Stops. Turns. Bumps into a copier. I grin. He walks over to the mailboxes.

I need to piss. When I come out he’s gone. Damn. Missed opportunity. I walk outside. He’s there. Bike rack. He stands up straight as I approach. Nervously adjusts: Bag. Shirt. Shorts. Bag. Shirt. Bone in shorts.

He shifts nervously as I approach. I move with confidence. Doubt he realizes he’s better looking than I.

He’s got thick brown hair. Could use a cut. Bit of a wave because it’s too long. I want to run my hands through it. Sunglasses blocking his pale blue eyes. Good smile. Great teeth. T-shirt shows off his 6’3” thin frame. Reveals his worked out chest and arms. As he shifts I can see his fuzzy abs; long, furry legs.

“You live close?” I’m not asking about his major. I wanna fuck and go.

“Um…” He nods to his right. I’m guessing graduate housing on campus.

“Walk or drive?”

“Um…” he’s concentrating. He closes his eyes, “I walked over but it’s better if we drive.”

We walk to my car in silence. He mentions he likes my truck. Double-Take reaches for my leg as we sit. “I’m not fucking in here.” He pulls his hand away.

I worry I’m coming across as a dick. The next thing I say doesn’t help: “Got a partner?”

He slumps. Nods. Looks a bit misty.

“Understood.” I pat his leg. “Blow and go…” Brief conversation on brief drive. PhD candidate. Quick thinker on subject. Moron otherwise.

Grad housing is much nicer than when I was in school. We lived in shit-holes. These are nice. Landscaped. Then again, it’s a rich school.

He keeps looking around to see if anyone is noticing. Subtle he is not. I put my hand on his waist as he opens the door. He sighs.

Decent place. Not huge. Galley kitchen w/a counter in the living/dining/computer room. Bedroom to the right.

He’s turned control over to me. I take full advantage. I push him to the wall. Hands on his waist. I move in for a kiss. He turns away. “No kissing.” I move my head to try again. “Um, my boyfriend and I have rules about…” he’s talking with his hands. Flailing, actually. “…these things.”

I grab both wrists and hold them down. “What are the rules?” I keep my face directly in front of him. I will get him to kiss me. Not me kissing him. He will kiss me.

Double-Take tells me the standard “we’re monogamous, but we’re not” bullshit rules. I grunt my replies. I don’t give a fuck about their rules.

I let go of his hand. My finger on his chin. Push it to the left. I begin to nibble on his neck. Light pecks. Small kisses. Slow lick from his collar bone to his ear. I feel his cock pressing against my leg. It’s not that big. He will not be fucking me.

One hand grabbing his round ass. The other moving through that curly hair. My lips and mouth torturing his neck, ears, cheeks and chin. I get close to his lips. Never on them.

Shirt off. He’s fuzzy. My hands explore. I stare into his eyes. He keeps looking away. I tell him to stop. “This is happening. Don’t pretend it’s not.” He sighs. I think his dick actually gets harder.

I pull up his arm and attack his pit. Ripe. Not dirty. Just forgot/doesn’t use deodorant. I lick that pit clean. He groans the whole time. He loves this. I move to his left one and repeat. I worry. He’s made noises that make me think he’s nutted. I pull back. Look into his eyes. I move slightly forward. He closes his eyes. Waiting for me to move in. I stop.

I wait.

Eyes open. He can smell his pits on my breath. Lips almost touching. I pull back. He pushes forward. Lips lock. Tongues move together in a tight dance. Amazing kisser. We get lost in some intense kissing. I pull off. I want to fuck this dude. Double-Take looks at his watch. His boyfriend gets off work soon.

Push him down. He squats. Not making this comfortable for him. I think he likes that. He rubs my crotch. Bullshit. Suck it. Suck my fucking dick you whore.

Pull it out. Hard. Slap his face with it. I tease his mouth. Don’t let it get in. He grabs it. Hungrily sucks it down. Nice sloppy blow job. He’s good. I run both hands through those brown curls. His hair is so soft. It’s good to hold onto as I fuck his face.

He wants my ass. I turn and let him chow down. He’s alright at salad tossing. I’ve had better.

I turn around. Grab his hand and move him into the bedroom. Clothes off. I push him on the bed. He looks hot. Good shape. Furry all over. The dick is smaller than I thought. Nice balls, tho.

I push his legs back and start sucking on his ass. I get my tongue in deep. Clean. Musky. Furry.
Like his pits. I love eating this hairy hole. I get my tongue in there deeper. He groans and moans like crazy.

I give his little dick a bit of attention. Every time I go near his dick his balls pull back tight. I’m not gonna have this guy nut and then leave me with blue balls when he feels guilty. I go back to his ass. He loves it when my stubble grazes his hole.

I roll him back over to doggie-style. He stops me. He doesn’t bottom. WTF? He turns, “Rules.” Can’t with a stranger. I just stare at him for a second.

“Am I fucking you with or without a condom?” His eyes go wide. (Either way, a condom is going on. I’m limiting his other options.)

“Look, he’ll be here soon…” I glare.

“Where do you keep your lube?” His eyes dart to the night stand. I yank it open. Squeeze some on my aching dick. Slicking it up. I look back at him. I motion towards his ass with the lube. He nods.

“Condom.” He mutters as he lays on his back, defeated. I squeeze some on his taint. It rolls down. Middle finger rubs it around. Slides in. Hot. Tight. Sweet.

Other hand explores his furry chest and abs. I avoid his dick. He looks like he could blow any second.

Condom on. I pull him towards the edge of the bed. Push his legs back. Start rubbing my unit against his crack. Pressing against his hole. He mutters something. “Repeat.”

“I just said, ‘Oh, God.’”

“You’ll be shouting that more in a few minutes…” I grin like the asshole I am.

His ass is tight. I really have to work it in there. Keep him relaxed. Breathing. I pump a little. Pull back. Pull out. Repeat. He won’t relax. He keeps watching the clock. I tell him the quicker he relaxes, the sooner we’ll both nut. It doesn’t help.

I pull out. I have him sit on my dick. It’s a slow process with him. I don’t relent. Once down, I pull him close. We make out for a while. No movement. He’s impaled on my rod. I explore him with my hands; my lips. He’s relaxing. He rides me for a bit.

He stands. Squats down and rides me. Bitch is loving it. He bounces up and down on my shaft. I run my hands all over his taught body. His groaning is louder. His cock is almost purple.

I get him on his back. I fuck him missionary. I tell him to call out my name. I want to hear it. He begs me to fuck him. “Fuck me, Robert! Fuck me!” We do the standard porn lines from “You like that, don’t you, bitch?” to “Fuck my tight pussy.” (The last being one of the most annoying porn lines ever.)

I get him on his hands and knees. I take him from behind. Hard. Even if he never moaned or uttered a word, the neighbors would still be able to hear our bodies slapping together. My balls are flying forward. Slapping his dick with each thrust. He groans as I slam into him. Followed by a whimper as my balls slap up against his rod.

The curtains press out. Double-Take’s head is buried in his hands. He doesn’t notice. Someone has come into the house. The boyfriend is home. I slow the fucking down. I start asking him questions again: “You like it?” “Ever had a dick this big?” “You love me?” (His replies for the record: shouts of FUCK, YES! NO! and Yes!).

Move to the edge of the bed again. Legs back. I stand as I fuck him. “In you or on you?” He doesn’t have to ask what. He cries out, “On me. Cum on me!”

I pull his legs straight up against me. Still slamming into him. A few more thrusts to get close. I pull out. Condom yanked and thrown. It smacks against the wall. It stays.

I jack my rod for a few seconds. Big globs of jizz. They splatter across his chest; stomach. The final glob lands on his dick. I jack him off using my spunk. He quickly cums hard. Huge load. Very wet. Almost like piss. He’s covered in splooge. I stand back and look at my masterpiece. Fucking whore.

I glance at the door. It’s closed. We didn’t shut it.

“Anyone here?!” No answer. Double-Take looks relieved. He sits up. I give him a kiss. “Better go shower before your boyfriend finds out you’ve been bad.” He giggles. Whatever.

He watches me dress. I’m quick. Move with purpose. He asks if I do this a lot. I don’t answer.

I think he expects a hug. He’s covered in jizz. I’m not ruining a $2,600 suit for a silly PhD candidate. Quick kiss. A smack on his ass as he turns away. He turns back. Boyfriend is probably at the gym. “We could fuck in the shower…”

“I have to leave.” He shrugs and goes into the bathroom. He sings as I walk out into the living room. Boyfriend is at the counter. Facing away. Staring into the kitchen. I have no intention of saying anything. Just walk out.

I glance at him as I reach for the handle. His dick is out. It’s HUGE. I’m sure he was jacking to our fucking. He’s a cuckold; a bottom to a pussy boy.

I turn back. Surprise gasp from him. I walk up behind. He’s red with embarrassment. Short. Thick. Bald. Pale skin. I’m tempted to reach around. I doubt he’d let me. This is something internal.

I place my hand gently on his back. I whisper in his ear. “I warmed him up. He’s in the shower. You need to take him. He broke the rules. Be a fucking man and make that bitch pay.”

Walking out. Beautiful Spring day. Passing Double-Take’s with the windows still open. I can hear his boyfriend claiming his bitch. Class dismissed.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

First Time

Someone asked about my first orgasm…

Played with my brother’s junk (and mine) for a while. Bro had great orgasms. Jizz for days. HUGE loads. All over his stomach. Loved watching it. Smelling it. Helping him cum.

I’d play with myself every now and again. Loved the feeling. Never came—I barely had pubes. It felt so good I didn’t stop.

Late one Saturday night. Sucked off my bro. (We’d stepped it up.) He’s asleep. I’m just laying there. Casual stroking. Same as always. I started to get this tingling feeling in my balls. THIS is different. My dick feels really fantastic!

The more I stroke the more intense it feels. Everything is intensifying on my dick. Like it’s the center of the universe. Feeling gets more intense. I stroke harder. I lose control except for my hand on my dick. My eyes tear up. Not sure if I’m breathing. Try not to make any noise. But I groan. An intense and amazing jolt blows through my groin. I passed out for a moment.

I opened my eyes. Single, big drop of jizz on the head of my dick! Nothing like the mass of cum my brother produced. I stare at it. Amazing.

Brother heard me. He’s sitting up looking at me. Gets up. Grabs my still hard rod with his fist. He rubs off my load with his thumb and brings it to my mouth. Salty, like his. He says “Congrats” as he crawls back into his bed.

Lights off. Brother’s heavy breathing. I can’t sleep. I want that feeling again. Jerk it in the dark. Get another drop. Not nearly as intense.

Been chasing that dragon of the first orgasm ever since.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Formspring Experiment

I've decided to stop posting Formspring questions here. It's just too much crap for the blog. I think it takes away from what I want this to be about.

Granted, I haven't posted in a while--but the questions on Formspring don't always work with Awkwurd. You can follow my posts on Twitter at

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it?

The Cum Bucket (I kid... I've sailed. I hated it.)

Ask me anything

Who was the best boss you've ever had?

Current one. Smart. With it. Hung.

Ask me anything

what do you find most attractive (looks) on a guy?


Ask me anything

What's the origin of your name?

Robert is my grandfather's name (my first name is actually another R name...) Legend is my middle name (seriously). Last name is Top Secret... (Got a job to keep).

Ask me anything

What sort of incest have you partaken in?

Brothers and cousins.

Ask me anything

Do you like consensual incest?

I would be a hypocrite if I said no.

Ask me anything

Do you hook up with older or younger guys most? Which are the best shags?

When I was younger, I hooked up mostly with older guys (bit of a story there), now I tend to go for my age or younger (with notable exceptions). Older guys have more panache--they're into it to have a good time. Younger guys tend to be in it to get off--I like teaching them how to be a good lay. Sort of a draw.

Ask me anything

How often to you have sex? And oral? Two separate things! :)

Whenever the opportunity presents itself. I've been very sexual since I was young, so it's very much a part of who I am and what I do. (short answer: avg. 4+ times a week)

Ask me anything

Do you have sex with your assistant?

Yes. Kind of a once-a-year thing. But we flirt a lot. In 2008, he came for Christmas (my mom loves him! Of course, he talks to her more than I do).

Ask me anything

Have you ever sucked a dog's dick? Have you ever let a dog lick your dick?

No on the first question. I was in a frat, so I'll plead the 5th on the second...

Ask me anything

Are you going to write us a love story? If there's anything I love better than graphic queer sex is graphic queer love.

In terms of writing, I've been thinking about The Boyfriend lately. In particular, how we met. So, yes!

Ask me anything

Monday, March 15, 2010

How would you like to fuck a 20 year old white ass from England!!

I would would fuck just about any 20 year-old ass (color or country doesn't matter). As long as you can work it.

Ask me anything

Got Questions?

See if I've got answers! Ask me anything on Formspring...

...and you know I mean anything!

Friday, March 5, 2010


Friday. Lunch with the boss. Casual. Fun. Business has been good. Smooth sailing for the year. Like many restaurants in the area, it’s slow. Just us and two other tables with professionals who have expense accounts.

Waiter is adorable. We chit chat. Some light flirting. I’m trying to keep it civil. Boss has a smirk.

In the middle of my salmon Boss asks, “When are you not fucking someone?”

I protest. They seek out me. I’m not that good looking that they should throw themselves at me. Boss says he’s never known anyone that fucks as much as I do. I tell him not to exaggerate. It’s all rumors and innuendo. Save for the blog, I don’t tell tales. Guys I fuck, however, talk a lot.

Lunch continues. Suit from another table gets up and chats with me. He’s openly cruising me in front of my boss. Boss is doing all he can not to laugh out loud. I almost feel like I’m being punk’d. The more I deny, the more I get hit on. Waiter sees Suit and rushes over. For a moment, I think this could escalate into a fight over me. Naturally, this arouses me.

Suit and Waiter go to their respective corners. Boss and I finish our lunch. He picks up the check. I go to pee.

I unzip and start peeing. Who is at the next urinal? Suit. Gives me the look up and down with his perfect teeth smile. I glance down at his big uncut dick. Damnit. I’m getting hard. I finish my whiz. Give it a shake. I’m about to tuck it back in and he’s on me.

Suit pushes me against the wall. Starts grabbing at my junk. He pulls my hand to his thick but still flaccid meat. I’m fully hard. He kisses me. He tastes like steak. Neither of us notices that we’re not alone.

Waiter clears his throat. I feel like I’ve been caught cheating. I want to say, “It’s not what you think,” but Suit has already dropped to his knees and I’m a good five inches into his mouth before I can attempt to speak. I nod at Waiter to come over. I’m oddly surprised he actually does.

We kiss. He also tastes like steak.

He drops down and joins Suit in sucking on my junk. One on my dick. One on my balls. I’m enjoying it so much I don’t hold back. I tell them I’m gonna cum. The two cocksuckers slurp and suck harder. I groan. Suit pulls off and starts pumping my rod.

I explode. Jizz fires out in thick gobs. The two groan and laugh their approval.

I look up. Boss is standing at the door to the restroom. He looks at me incredulously and asks, “Am I being punk’d?”

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Commenting Change

Because I've had such a problem with spammers lately (I think they're all from Japan... go figure, I'm not a 'Rice Queen'), I'm now moderating the comments. I really don't worry too much about comments--some people like what I do; others don't--I let them all slide. However, the spammers piss me off. I'm not sending my readers to some crappy site that may or may not download viruses. That shit sucks.

So, if you're inclined to comment, it won't post until I approve it. Trust me, I'll approve it, unless you're selling something... then, you're out.

Speaking of, I've had a few people ask if I could post something about their project/site and I've done it. It's all about asking and synergy (if their site is similar in focus as mine, I have no problem promoting someone else--note all my links).

That said, note that I have NOT monetized this site. I'm not here to make a profit (considering I've liberally "borrowed" my pictures from others, I find it rather inappropriate to do so).


Okay... and back to the dirty stories (I promise I'll post something soon--my Christmas was, as always, eventful to say the least [boyfriend + nephew = A Very Merry Christmas!].