Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Formspring Experiment

I've decided to stop posting Formspring questions here. It's just too much crap for the blog. I think it takes away from what I want this to be about.

Granted, I haven't posted in a while--but the questions on Formspring don't always work with Awkwurd. You can follow my posts on Twitter at

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it?

The Cum Bucket (I kid... I've sailed. I hated it.)

Ask me anything

Who was the best boss you've ever had?

Current one. Smart. With it. Hung.

Ask me anything

what do you find most attractive (looks) on a guy?


Ask me anything

What's the origin of your name?

Robert is my grandfather's name (my first name is actually another R name...) Legend is my middle name (seriously). Last name is Top Secret... (Got a job to keep).

Ask me anything

What sort of incest have you partaken in?

Brothers and cousins.

Ask me anything

Do you like consensual incest?

I would be a hypocrite if I said no.

Ask me anything

Do you hook up with older or younger guys most? Which are the best shags?

When I was younger, I hooked up mostly with older guys (bit of a story there), now I tend to go for my age or younger (with notable exceptions). Older guys have more panache--they're into it to have a good time. Younger guys tend to be in it to get off--I like teaching them how to be a good lay. Sort of a draw.

Ask me anything

How often to you have sex? And oral? Two separate things! :)

Whenever the opportunity presents itself. I've been very sexual since I was young, so it's very much a part of who I am and what I do. (short answer: avg. 4+ times a week)

Ask me anything

Do you have sex with your assistant?

Yes. Kind of a once-a-year thing. But we flirt a lot. In 2008, he came for Christmas (my mom loves him! Of course, he talks to her more than I do).

Ask me anything

Have you ever sucked a dog's dick? Have you ever let a dog lick your dick?

No on the first question. I was in a frat, so I'll plead the 5th on the second...

Ask me anything

Are you going to write us a love story? If there's anything I love better than graphic queer sex is graphic queer love.

In terms of writing, I've been thinking about The Boyfriend lately. In particular, how we met. So, yes!

Ask me anything

Monday, March 15, 2010

How would you like to fuck a 20 year old white ass from England!!

I would would fuck just about any 20 year-old ass (color or country doesn't matter). As long as you can work it.

Ask me anything

Got Questions?

See if I've got answers! Ask me anything on Formspring...

...and you know I mean anything!

Friday, March 5, 2010


Friday. Lunch with the boss. Casual. Fun. Business has been good. Smooth sailing for the year. Like many restaurants in the area, it’s slow. Just us and two other tables with professionals who have expense accounts.

Waiter is adorable. We chit chat. Some light flirting. I’m trying to keep it civil. Boss has a smirk.

In the middle of my salmon Boss asks, “When are you not fucking someone?”

I protest. They seek out me. I’m not that good looking that they should throw themselves at me. Boss says he’s never known anyone that fucks as much as I do. I tell him not to exaggerate. It’s all rumors and innuendo. Save for the blog, I don’t tell tales. Guys I fuck, however, talk a lot.

Lunch continues. Suit from another table gets up and chats with me. He’s openly cruising me in front of my boss. Boss is doing all he can not to laugh out loud. I almost feel like I’m being punk’d. The more I deny, the more I get hit on. Waiter sees Suit and rushes over. For a moment, I think this could escalate into a fight over me. Naturally, this arouses me.

Suit and Waiter go to their respective corners. Boss and I finish our lunch. He picks up the check. I go to pee.

I unzip and start peeing. Who is at the next urinal? Suit. Gives me the look up and down with his perfect teeth smile. I glance down at his big uncut dick. Damnit. I’m getting hard. I finish my whiz. Give it a shake. I’m about to tuck it back in and he’s on me.

Suit pushes me against the wall. Starts grabbing at my junk. He pulls my hand to his thick but still flaccid meat. I’m fully hard. He kisses me. He tastes like steak. Neither of us notices that we’re not alone.

Waiter clears his throat. I feel like I’ve been caught cheating. I want to say, “It’s not what you think,” but Suit has already dropped to his knees and I’m a good five inches into his mouth before I can attempt to speak. I nod at Waiter to come over. I’m oddly surprised he actually does.

We kiss. He also tastes like steak.

He drops down and joins Suit in sucking on my junk. One on my dick. One on my balls. I’m enjoying it so much I don’t hold back. I tell them I’m gonna cum. The two cocksuckers slurp and suck harder. I groan. Suit pulls off and starts pumping my rod.

I explode. Jizz fires out in thick gobs. The two groan and laugh their approval.

I look up. Boss is standing at the door to the restroom. He looks at me incredulously and asks, “Am I being punk’d?”