Tuesday, March 25, 2008

You've Got Questions

Very few comment on this blog (thanks Supplicant!). However, many email me. Lots of questions. Weird questions. Specific questions. Perverts. I like that. I’ve compiled a bunch of them. They’re not in any specific order.

Why Awkward? You’re not awkward, you get laid a lot.
Originally it was to be about my relationships. I try; they fail. My dick gets me in a lot of trouble. My sex life is awkward. Started weird. Continues to be.

How old were you when you started fooling with guys?
Twelve. Older brother. Later with my eldest brother. Stepfather and younger brother, too.

Were you out in high school?
Fuck no. I had a girlfriend all through high school. Voted “Most Likely to Get Married.” Little did they know.

What about college?
No. I was in a frat and I would have had to leave. I wouldn’t trade the experience. Strange as it was, I had fun.

You mentioned baseball, what position?
Catcher from Little League through Freshman year. Eventually moved to outfield. Knees were going. Mostly Centerfield. I was a power hitter.



Any great locker room stories?
No. Eye candy, but no hot stories. Occasional boners, grab ass, etc. No sucking off. I fooled around with guys in cars, bedrooms, etc. I did fuck around with my coach in his office. He started me hustling.


Your coach was your pimp?
Sort of. I didn’t have much money. One of six kids. I was looking for work to pay for college (no scholarship coming). Coach made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. I put myself through college hustling.


More details, please?
Not sure of all the relationships. I think he was started by his college coach. There were a few of us from other schools. I mostly had stuff after practice or a game. They wanted me in uniform. Lots of men with kids my age. LOTS. I got good at role playing. I learned to suppress my laughter: some guys are truly bizarre. Call a guy “daddy” and beg him to fuck you—he’ll pay well. Repeatedly.

How many guys did you have to fuck to pay tuition?In high school, a lot. It gave me a unique insight into men. In college, I lucked into Ed: my patron; sponsor. A very successful businessman who was in town a few times a month. He paid for everything. Requirement: I had to be available when he was in town. Plus summer vacations. I told my parents it was an internship. We travelled all summer—mostly Europe. We fucked. We drank. We fucked. We shopped. He gave me an entirely different type of education. He’s still a good friend.


You’re totally gay?
I do fuck women. That’s just for laughs. Escorting for parties, weddings, etc. We have fun. We fuck. They cum. They love me. But I’m totally gay.


Are you still a hooker?
I prefer the term hustler. No. I don’t think I could do it now. I lucked out: No cops. No deadly diseases. I wouldn’t know where to start now.


Does your family know?
That I’m gay? Yes. That I hustled? No. As for my brothers and I fucking around: we don’t talk about it. We don’t talk about sex much.


You mentioned fooling with your step-dad, was it hot, or rape?
Neither. It was okay. I got off. But he didn’t do much for me. It was nice to get attention from him. He mostly ignored me. Decent dick. Not a great fuck. We only did it a handful of times.

Does your mom and real dad know anything?
Mom knows I’m gay, but doesn’t talk about it. She has no idea about the wild stuff. Pops died when I was five.


Do you feel abused? [clarified: hustling, brothers, coach, patron, etc.]
No. I feel lucky to have had the experience. My brothers taught me a lot. Ironically about girls. Eldest taught me how to finger fuck a girl. I put that to great use at a party in the 8th grade. I had a rep as a stud through high school. Hustling got me to school. Ed (sponsor/patron) gave me a college education. Travel. Learned a lot about European art and culture. It may have warped me on relationships. I’m working on that.


You write weird and rarely use conjunctions. Why do you say “I suck him” and not “I sucked him.” Is all of it calculated, or are you dumb?
Hemingway, I’m not. Admittedly, my writing skills are limited. As for style: I’m usually pretty quiet. I don’t get flowery with language. My writing reflects that. I keep it in the present tense so the reader is there with me. I limit it to the facts: “His dick is big. Uncut. Mushroom head. His bush has a deep musky scent. I inhale as I suck him deep... He shoots his thick load down my throat. I swallow it all.”

Why haven’t you been writing?
Good question. One would think I just stuck that in there, like it’s a fake question… Work has been busy. Life has been busy. I write when I get down time.


But you post to Crooked Vein, your wildly popular picture site
“Wildly popular”? Okay, that is a fake question. Posting pics takes a couple of minutes. I look at nasty pics to relax. It’s easy to throw a few things up. Sorry I haven’t posted. I have been getting laid. Really. I have. Some of it isn’t that interesting: A fuck buddy came by. We sucked each other off. He left.

I’ll try harder.

I hope this answers some questions. Write if you need more information. I threw the questions on here and then deleted the emails. If you wrote with a question and it wasn’t answered, write again. (Note, I used conjunctions in two sentences in a row!)


4 comments:

Supplicant said...

Hey, RL! Welcome back!

(1) I can't believe that people whine and bitch that you don't post. Like you don't have a fucking life!

(2) Fuck people whining about your conjunctions. You're a fine writer. I think your choice of writing present tense without lots of conjunctions gives the reader a sense of imminence, of the hunt, of, well, SEX. Presumably that's why we're here. I mean, this clearly isn't Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Besides, you're way more eloquent than most guys into Cock worship. I've read some really, really bad poetry out there...

(3) You didn't say how it is that you got so good at reading pseudo-straight guys and closing for the kill. That's a skill.

(awk)Word said...

You suck enough dick, you learn to read people.

I guess I've always been able to read people. My step-dad had a temper. My brothers always pushed him past the line. I brought him close but knew when to back off. They got a few beat-downs (not as dramatic as it sounds--belt, a few whacks). I managed to avoid it.

Watch their eyes. The eyes covet. Then it's a matter of asking the right questions and letting them think they're in charge. I love that about straight guys: they think they own it all and they are ruled by their wives, her pussy and their dick. When the wife's away--the dick is mine!

Supplicant said...

Okay. I have a request, maestro, that of course, you can (and probably should) not grant, for no other reason than you may find it tedious.

Could you rewrite this piece to include the seduction, from the moment you began exploring fucking the guy in your own mind until the start of the actual piece where you actually go in for the kill was related?

Clearly, you'd been working on the guy for a while. What's involved in the work?

Sir! said...

What you "used in two sentences in a row" was not conjunctions, but the past (instead of your usual present), tense. Conjunction have nothing to do with it.