“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…”
I walk into the gymnasium. I’m clad only in my underwear. I
hand my card off to some guy I’ve never seen before. Hot day, even for June. As
I walk across the surprisingly cool floor I hear my information being announced.
“Robert Legend. First Year. St. Mary’s. 5’2” 108. 6th
& 7th baseball. 6th & 7th basketball.
6th and 7th swimming…”
As I walk to the crest of St. Matt’s I make the decision. I
walk up to the red mark on the wood floor in front the entire athletic staff of the school.
Sitting in the front is The Bishop as well as the Dean of Moral Guidance, Brother
Gabriel. As I stop on the line—in a seamless move—I pull down my shorts and
step back. The room goes quiet. I hear someone gasp.
At an all-boys College Prep, sport is king. Football rules
all. The Combine separates the men from the boys. Over a period of a week in
early June, everyone trying out for football shows up—which is most of the
school. The best I could hope for is First Year Football. If I were bigger, I’d
have a slight chance at Freshman Football. Varsity and JV are out of the
question for First Years.
Sunday afternoon the day before the first day of Combine. I’ll
be starting at St. Matt’s in the Fall. My oldest brother James is a senior.
He’s showing my brother Erik and his buddies what he does for “the drop.” Strictly
Juniors and Seniors.
Walking in from the dining room, where he just striped to
his boxers. James enters confidently and stops. In a swift move he bends and
drops his shorts. He stands back. James has a big one and likes showing it off.
James shouts as they will tomorrow, “Raise your arms.” His arms go up. “Turn to
two!” He drops his arms, making a quarter turn. “Turn to three.” Another
quarter turn and we’re staring at his muscled ass. With each turn, his schlong swings. It's amazing to watch.
“Arms!” He raises his arms.
He turns to us, “Sometimes, they’ll say ‘Turn to four’, but almost never. Guys
always fuck up on that.” He turns back to one, does a flick with his foot,
flinging his underwear up, and walks out. “Wait for them to tell you to leave.
They want to see you take direction well.”
Erik and his buddies just have to stand there in their
shorts, as do I.
I’m hearing his words as I stand there in front of these men.
These guys have been doing this all day. Seniors and Juniors were in the
morning. They’re bored. First years are a formality. Freshman are the lowest at
most schools. At St. Matthews College Preparatory the First Years are
insignificant and pushed in and out of The Combine quickly. I hear them chatting.
Something about a guy named Archie Bunker.
Legends hit puberty in a particular way: we get pubes, tiny
bit of pit hair and our junk grows full size… then we stop. And wait. Suddenly,
about two years in, we start to grow hard and fast. My balls dropped the
previous summer. I’m still small.
In a fluid motion James would be proud of, I drop my briefs.
Stand back on the one and stare straight ahead. My junk looks huge on my small
frame. They are silent. I’m ready for them to send me on my way.
After what seems like an eternity: “Arms…” I raise my arms up
from my side.
“Go to two…”
“…three…” I hear some whispers, pencils scratching.
“Back to one…” Quick half turn. My dick swings and slaps my
thigh. In the silence of the room, it makes a clear and loud “smack.” I hear
someone mutter “Jesus…” as it swings down.
“Yeah…” the voice
says. “…you can go.” I hear a muttered, “And don’t trip over that…” followed by
some muffled laughs. I glance at the Bishop and Brother Gabriel who do not look
pleased.
By the time I get into the locker room to get my clothes, I’m
already known as “The First Year Flasher.” The guys are joking and laughing. I start to collect my school uniform. The room goes cold and quiet. Brother Gabriel places his cool
hand on my bare shoulder. He stands over me. I feel very naked.
“Follow me to my office.” He turns and walks to the door. I stumble
along, dressing as I try to keep up. He does not slow his pace as I cross
campus scrambling to pull on my clothes. I manage to get my shirt on as we arrive
at his office. I don’t even bother with my tie.
His secretary takes down my information. “Another Legend?”
She sighs. “How many of them are you?” I stammer, a voice calls out from the
office, “Come.”
I shut the door slowly. I’m worried this is going to be the
end of my life. It’s just the beginning. His office is dark. Plain. Multiple degrees
on the wall. Not much else except for several crosses and a lot of books. I
stand in front of his desk. I’m Shaking.
Father Gabriel asks me if I was trying to provoke a
response. I don’t understand the question. He tries another approach which I
also don’t get. Finally, “You are a prideful boy. What did you hope to achieve
by that stunt?”
I stare at him for a second. He looks so cross. I think it
bothers me more because he’s so good looking. Tall, athletic, extremely
handsome. Dark hair, light blue eyes. To a kid, he seems old. He’s barely 40.
He rarely smiles. When he does, he’s one of those guys you wonder why he isn’t
fucking everything in sight when he’s that good looking.
He has me sit. He comes around the desk and sits close. He
holds my hands and sighs. “The truth…” He closes his eyes. “I believe in the
truth…” He pauses for what feels like an eternity. “Perhaps confession would be
best.” I don’t want to, but I nod. Confession is private. He notes confession
can’t go on my school record.
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…”
He moves in closer and grasps my hands. It’s so close and
intimate. I whisper as I go through the normal things: impure thoughts.
Touching myself. Swearing. Disrespectful to my parents, etc. He asks about
today. I repeat my earlier response.
“Do you feel confidant because of your… size?” I shrug.
“Speak up boy. Do you feel prideful of your gift?” I don’t
know what to say.
He moves his hands to my knees—gives them a firm,
disciplinary squeeze. “A response please…”
“I guess.”
“Did you hope to get a response from us?” His hands gently
rub my thighs. Like he’s my buddy…
“I guess…”
“You guess?” I can feel his breath on my neck as he moves
in.
“Um… Yeah. Yes, Brother Gabriel.”
His voice drops lower, “Did you mean to arouse me?”
I start to answer when I realize he said “Me.” He’s aroused?
But he’s a Man of God. Is this a trick? I’m paralyzed with fear. I don’t know how to answer. He hands move up my thighs.
“Are you aroused?” His hand moves to my crotch. He feels my
hardening dick through the fabric of my slacks. “Yes. You prideful boy…” He
pushes me back in the chair. Starts unbucking my belt. Pulling open my pants.
He tugs hard. My dick Flops out. He whispers, “My, Heavenly Lord…”
He’s down on my rod in a second. I pull back. I grow rigid in
his mouth. He grabs my pants at the sides and pulls me deeper into his mouth.
I’m trying not to freak out. I stare at one of the crosses. This is sinful,
right? Sports jizz aside, this is wasting sperm. It’s not going towards
recreation. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It feels really good. He takes me all the way
down and chokes a little. That’s all I need. “Father, I’m gonna…!” Without looking
up, he reaches up and smacks his hand over my mouth. I do all I can not to cry
out as my balls release.
I unleash my load down his throat. He gags. He tries to
swallow, it spills down his chin. Brother Gabriel milks me as I twitch. He
pulls off. Wipes his chin. He stands above me. His hands move fast as he pulls
his pants down. His dick is nice. Kind of big. Not as big as mine. Big bush. Smooth. Uncut. I’d
even say it’s pretty. He pulls me close and stuffs it into my mouth.
“Take it, you prideful boy…” It enters my mouth and instantly
starts coming. I don’t even taste his dick before I taste his cum. I swallow it
all. I pull off, look up and grin. He looks down at me and smiles. “You are so
prideful.”
He pulls his pants up and walks silently back to his desk. I
stuff my dick back in my pants and zip up.
Father Gabriel flips through a file. My file. I already have
a file. “You have a free period on Tuesdays at 3pm. We’ll meet then.” He looks
up. I’m not sure what this means, so I just stare like an idiot. “When school
starts, I expect to see you in my office at 3:00pm every Tuesday for private
confession. Is that clear?” I nod. “You may go…”
I stand. “Father…”
“Yes, Robert.” He does not look up.
“Was that a sin?” He raises those blue eyes and glares. “I
mean, sperm should be used for procreation and…”
He stops me. “It is the basis of life. It feeds and nourishes.
Do you think the Lord does not want us to be nourished?”
Not sure what to say. I manage a long “Uh…”
He sits back and looks me up and down. “Your family has
quite a checkered past at this school, Mr. Legend. I kindly suggest we keep
this quiet between us—I know your grandfather is paying for your education, but
you family history is quite… questionable.”
I nod. Message received.
He stops me as I leave. Brother Gabriel walks over and tucks
in my shirt, fixes pants, adjusts my collar. “For someone so prideful, one
would think you’d pay more attention to how you dress.” I thank him and start
to leave.
He pulls me back. “A gentleman shakes hand upon entering and
upon leaving.” I shake his hand, thank him. He holds onto my hand. He brings
his left hand to my face and leans forward. Is he going to kiss me? He whispers
in my ear, “Be a good soul…” I have no response, so I leave.
Later that summer I’ll find out that my brothers also had
confession with Brother Gabriel. James was lustful on Fridays, Erik impertinent
on Wednesday mornings.
That night I can’t sleep. This was my first day, what will
the rest of the school year hold?